Fandom Secrets

[paraka]

Over at LJ's fandomsecrets someone made a podfic secret (thanks to brimtoast for the link).

I'm really curious as to what others in the podfic community think of it, it's had some very mixed reactions in the thread I linked to above.

Comments

[anatsuno]

Funny, I was JUST thinking about that this morning. I think because I was reading the Merlin metafic where Arthur is a BNF and Merlin is his beta (a great story!) and it made me think about writing metafic that included podfic or revolved around it some way, but it also made me reflect on all the stuff that's glossed over in the story an in most meta stories like that; somehow my brain landed on this issue of masturbating to fanworks.

ANYWAY. I notice that in your answer in that thread you say, but ppl comment saying 'I'll be in my bunk' a lot, is that really different? I wanted to touch on that because yeah, I do think it's different. The difference, to me, is not about the fanwork type (though there ARE differences due to the fanwork type), it's that a comment like 'I'll be in my bunk' is highly ritualised. It was already a euphemistic way to say what is meant from the start, but now that it has become a ritual answer it is even MORE devoid of its literal sense. You don't know when someone types it if they mean they were slightly aroused, intellectually turned on, if they has a physiological response or not, and certainly you don't know if they LITERALLY mean that they're going to masturbate to that fanwork now, or in the future.

I think this is a crucial difference between the secret (very literal, precise) and the ritual comment to a fic.

Now, I also think that it can be creepy - there is no way to control the reception of our utterances, right? And surely some people who record podfic have personal boundaries which are such that they would NOT like to know this as precisely from their audiences. Hence the reason I have never told anyone about it precisely myself. :)

But I do think we could stand to have a wider conversation about fanworks and masturbatory habits of fans in general - well, the people who want to have it, anyway - because I for one wouldn't mind feedback with that level of detail, for example, and because I think there's ways to build up community expectations regarding explicit comments (when to give them, how to express one's boundaries, etc).

Does that make any sense?

[phi]

I don't particularly want to know the details of readers' or listeners' masturbatory habits but I figure if I've written or read something shippy, whether it's explicit sex or not, *someone's* going to be getting off to it somewhere. As long as they don't come into my journal to tell me about it, I don't really care. And I definitely would be put off by someone saying that *I* was arousing them, as opposed to the fanwork I created, since that is awfully close to creepy stalker territory for me.

[dodificus]

Personally I'd be more shocked if people *weren't* masturbating to a wide and varied collection of fanworks.

Masturbation is still all icky and gross though right? God forbid *girls* should be doing it, let alone *admit* that they're doing it:O

[blueyeti]

Anatsuno: I really want that conversation to take place.

Personally, I sort of want to see more things like this. But, like you sort of said Paraka, as meta or conversation, not as a secret. (I'd like to believe those saying it was creepy aren't really podfic-listeners, because to me it seems inevitable to be walking along and be suddenly hit by the ridiculously hot podfic in my ears. Telling the podficcer that shouldn't be a *bad* thing. It's at least a compliment to their method of storytelling.)

On the 'be in my bunk' response. I've always thought of the ritual of that phrase as being helpful to hidden honesty. You can say owe me panties/be in my bunk and have it be interpreted as an euphemistic fandom joke. Which can be the cover for the truth. I've always thought of it like that: Jayne was telling the truth when he said it, so why can't that responder be telling the truth as well? No one says I'll be in my bunk to podfic because feedback is non-immediate, so it doesn't work. If there was another, standard phrase which worked, maybe that would pop up in feedback.

But, it does feel more intimate/invasive to say, oh Podficcer X, your voice is sexy, I'll be in my bunk with this Wincest you just uploaded, than to say I'll be in my bunk after having read the entirety of a fic. The podfic option sounds like more of a plan of action. And the fic is just Sam and Dean; the podfic is Sam and Dean and Podficcer X.

Also, because I pick fics to podfic that I adore and don't have any even slight qualms about, I occasionally end up being turned on listening to my own voice while editing. Now that's a weird experience. Not all the time, and definitely some stories more readily than others. I've been sporadically working on an anthology of blowjob fics*, and some of them aren't sexy at all, and others are completely distracting. It feels very narcissistic.

*side note: I'm really nervous about actually posting the blowjob anthology. It seems so indulgent, and silly, and like I'm putting a huge porny label on myself. Also, that it'll turn into a monologue, because there is a critical mass of blowjobs and I've passed it. Would I be comfortable if someone said they got off to it? Probably I'd be pretty pleased. It is mostly just porn, made interesting by contexts, and presumably people who like porny podfics will download an anthology so honestly named. What makes me uncomfortable is people having a list of what I get off to, or thinking they have that list. Like this is a revelation of my psyche or something, like how you can pull an author's preoccupations out of their fiction if they've written enough.

That's the part of podficcing/writing PWP which unnerves me. If people responded to a podfic with be in my bunk/another euphemism or lack thereof, awesome. If someone responded with 'oh, my goodness, you really like Sheppard getting choked, don't you?', *that* would freak me out.