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podficmeta2010-01-31 10:27 pm
zvi) wrote in podficmeta2010-01-31 10:27 pm
Entry tags:
The Kids are Alright, read by NikoJen [Podfic Critical Feedback Exchange]
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nikojen
Podfic Title: The Kids are Alright
Podfic Fandom: SG:A / Podfic Length: 5:00:00
The basics of this recording are quite sound: errors edited out, no background noises, no music, even volume (the shouting is a bit shouty sounding, which is not my personal preference, but even the shoutiness is not so loud that it's painful as compared to listening to the rest of the text). The section break pauses I sometimes feel go on a bit long, but they were always only on the verge of making me check to see if my mp3 player had unexpectedly turned off, not quite to the point of me actually going to look.
This podfic is easy to sleep to, which is not something I usually posit as a negative. (I like podfic which is easy to sleep to, by which I usually mean the volume is even and the reader's voice is pleasant and unobtrusive.) However, part of the reason this podfic is easy to sleep to is because it's a little too even. I wanted higher highs and lower lows; the intensity in this reading mostly seemed to come at the shouty bits and the first sex scene. At the least, I think the fight scenes (both the physical fights and the personal relationship fights between the two Sheppards and between Sheppard and McKay) should have had some more urgency in the way they were read.
That being said, the narrative voice in general was pretty decent. The prosody was quite natural, as opposed to either a robotic evenness or an excess theatricality. In a story with a single POV, this would have been a winner. However, this story was told from three different POVs, and the narrative voice was undifferentiated between the three characters. Anytime I got distracted from what I was listening to, I risked losing track of who was the current viewpoint character, and not necessarily picking it up for more than thirty seconds. That was a big problem.
The problem in the separation of narrative voice was a reflection of a problem in the dialogue voices. I actually felt that most of the dialogue voices were great. While McKay didn't sound much like David Hewlett, he was still quite recognizably McKay, in the stresses and emphasis chosen, and the emotional nature of the reading. I also thought Ronon was actually fairly reflective of Jason Momoa's line readings. (An original character, Eva, was also very well-handled. (A) Her voice was consistent throughout the narrative, which is sometimes not the case with original characters, and (B) although read at a higher pitch than most of the male character voices, this reading avoided the unbearably squeaky tones that some readers adopt for women's voice.)
However, I had a great deal of trouble differentiating John Sheppard from either McKay or David Sheppard or Bates. I also felt like, overall, the interpretation of John's character in the reading was much too emotional for the character. But, unfortunately, attempts to render his trademark deadpan wound up in a sort of weird growl.
There were three minor problems:
1) The reading ignored stage directions in the narrative tags. The text would be something like,
2) Interrupted sentences were read as if they stopped where the interruption fell, instead of as if they were interrupted. When one speaks, the way one forms a sound is actually affected by the sounds one is planning to make afterwards. (That's why you can hear when someone was going to say one word and substitutes another.) If one wants to make a more natural sounding interrupted sentence, figure out what the next few words would have been, and say the sentence as if one were actually going to say them, but stop early at the interruption. (It makes more sense to do it than to explain it.)
3) There's a little bit of s hissing noticeable. It's not bad, and I'm not sure if there's anything to be done about it, it's just something I noticed.
To end on a positive note: the sex scenes, especially the first one that was McKay's interrupted masturbatory fantasy, were quite good. The emotional intensity was there, and the reading style was changed so it sounded more intimate without either dropping the volume noticeably or switching to boom chikka wow wow voice.
nikojenPodfic Title: The Kids are Alright
Podfic Fandom: SG:A / Podfic Length: 5:00:00
The basics of this recording are quite sound: errors edited out, no background noises, no music, even volume (the shouting is a bit shouty sounding, which is not my personal preference, but even the shoutiness is not so loud that it's painful as compared to listening to the rest of the text). The section break pauses I sometimes feel go on a bit long, but they were always only on the verge of making me check to see if my mp3 player had unexpectedly turned off, not quite to the point of me actually going to look.
This podfic is easy to sleep to, which is not something I usually posit as a negative. (I like podfic which is easy to sleep to, by which I usually mean the volume is even and the reader's voice is pleasant and unobtrusive.) However, part of the reason this podfic is easy to sleep to is because it's a little too even. I wanted higher highs and lower lows; the intensity in this reading mostly seemed to come at the shouty bits and the first sex scene. At the least, I think the fight scenes (both the physical fights and the personal relationship fights between the two Sheppards and between Sheppard and McKay) should have had some more urgency in the way they were read.
That being said, the narrative voice in general was pretty decent. The prosody was quite natural, as opposed to either a robotic evenness or an excess theatricality. In a story with a single POV, this would have been a winner. However, this story was told from three different POVs, and the narrative voice was undifferentiated between the three characters. Anytime I got distracted from what I was listening to, I risked losing track of who was the current viewpoint character, and not necessarily picking it up for more than thirty seconds. That was a big problem.
The problem in the separation of narrative voice was a reflection of a problem in the dialogue voices. I actually felt that most of the dialogue voices were great. While McKay didn't sound much like David Hewlett, he was still quite recognizably McKay, in the stresses and emphasis chosen, and the emotional nature of the reading. I also thought Ronon was actually fairly reflective of Jason Momoa's line readings. (An original character, Eva, was also very well-handled. (A) Her voice was consistent throughout the narrative, which is sometimes not the case with original characters, and (B) although read at a higher pitch than most of the male character voices, this reading avoided the unbearably squeaky tones that some readers adopt for women's voice.)
However, I had a great deal of trouble differentiating John Sheppard from either McKay or David Sheppard or Bates. I also felt like, overall, the interpretation of John's character in the reading was much too emotional for the character. But, unfortunately, attempts to render his trademark deadpan wound up in a sort of weird growl.
There were three minor problems:
1) The reading ignored stage directions in the narrative tags. The text would be something like,
"I hate you, you evil bastard," wailed McKay.and the dialogue would actually have been rendered as a low hiss. That's somewhat disorienting for the listener.
2) Interrupted sentences were read as if they stopped where the interruption fell, instead of as if they were interrupted. When one speaks, the way one forms a sound is actually affected by the sounds one is planning to make afterwards. (That's why you can hear when someone was going to say one word and substitutes another.) If one wants to make a more natural sounding interrupted sentence, figure out what the next few words would have been, and say the sentence as if one were actually going to say them, but stop early at the interruption. (It makes more sense to do it than to explain it.)
3) There's a little bit of s hissing noticeable. It's not bad, and I'm not sure if there's anything to be done about it, it's just something I noticed.
To end on a positive note: the sex scenes, especially the first one that was McKay's interrupted masturbatory fantasy, were quite good. The emotional intensity was there, and the reading style was changed so it sounded more intimate without either dropping the volume noticeably or switching to boom chikka wow wow voice.
no subject
I did have a bit of a rueful sigh over the "too even" issue, as that is (sort of) intentional. I was making a conscious effort to tone down a tendency to be too shrill and over-acty, and I guess I lost some of the spontaneity and intensity in the process (assuming I had it to begin with, anyway :) ).
Anyway, thanks again. I appreciate your taking the time for this. (And I'm sorry I'm a bit late replying... I wanted to finish my own post before reading others.)
no subject
And don't feel bad about the delay! I think everybody is sort of feeling their way through the correct way to formulate and structure a critique, and I understand wanting to work through your own ideas before seeing how critique was applied to you. (I really do appreciate that you did let me know once you did read it; I was having a niggling doubt that I'd been way too harsh.)
no subject
Re: the expected criticisms - I definitely thought I'd get dinged more on the technical side. I patched the story together almost line-by-line, so it left a lot of room for clicks, breath issues, and noise-reduction weirdness. I did my best to edit it all out, but figured there'd be places I missed or issues with the pacing because of it.
I also wasn't sure how my McKay would go over. I expected to get called on his reactions being too over-the-top or histrionic, especially compared to the surrounding narration.
no subject
Re McKay: I stopped watching SGA in season 3, in something of a huff, but I've kept reading the fic (what can I say? I have a weakness for AMTDI.) so my picture of McKay may be somewhat fanon-influenced. Your interpretation worked for me. *shrug*